I think Darlings that it is time that I have brought all of you up to speed on what has happened in this Diva’s life.
I told you that I bought a new car “Miss Wicked” and was in the process of selling my old home and buying a new one.
Well there was a bidding war for my home, most unusual, I didn’t expect it but a husband and wife (both doctors) with two children (boy 6, girl 4) finally laid claim to it. We worked out a very happy arrangement.
Most of the furniture that I had I was happy to sell with the exception of some personal pieces, I have this beautiful Art Modern Vanity table and chair made of solid Maple that was lighten, that has a very unusual shape. It was a piece that I insisted on purchasing, even though my late husband despised it, he claimed it was too, too decadent, poor prude.
But in my previous maudlin state I told you a bit about my marriage to him, not a bad one really when you consider the number of abused women that have to suffer the tortures of the damned.
But enough of that Possums. Well while I was waiting on who would purchase my house and selling off (thanks to an excellent antique dealer that I know) what I didn’t want, I closed the deal on Iris’s house---a very simple arrangement really, had a team of workmen in there to spruce it up with paint and lay down new cedar in the closets, check out the plumbing, bought a new stove, dishwasher, refrigerator, washer, dryer. Just so much FUN!
In the mean time I had my housekeeper Juanita and her daughter Constance store for moving my wardrobe---and it was a good thing it was a team effort, there were things I decided I didn’t want. Constance was eying this evening gown that I couldn’t make up my mind about and I decided that I didn’t want it, so I asked her if she would like it (we’re the same size) and she did. So since Constance was my size we came to a very happy arrangement. I told her that if there was something that didn’t look good on her to take it to this high-end consignment shop and she could get extra money for it.
But the evening gown---It looked so beautiful and right for her----I told her she better keep it for special events. When her husband Manuel came into the room he was dumfounded, his mouth just hung open and then a big smile came on his face, and he said to her in Spanish “You are so beautiful, this makes you look like a Queen, an Angel”
Well even more things turned out just right---Poor Juanita told me that the rent on her small apartment was being raised and couldn’t afford the increase, but that Constance and Manuel wanted to take her in but things would be very crowded I told them that there is a Maid’s room at the new house and if Juanita wanted to she could move in there.
Well we all went over to the new house, (I had to check on the workmen anyway) and showed Juanita the room with its own bath. It’s view out onto the lagoon, and Juanita said that it was larger than her own apartment---- Darlings that even shocked me!
Right away we made arrangements, I talked to the workmen and told them the next room to be painted was Juanita’s and we set about choosing colors (really Juanita did I wanted it to be her choice).
Now my Dear’s where is this all going----simple----it’s a wise Diva that can take a situation and make it so that by benefiting others it also benefits you. By having Juanita move into the new house, she would be saving money on rent; her daughter knew that she would be safe. I was guaranteed that someone would be watching the house when I traveled. And Constance and Manuel would be able to help me on the property from time to time. And I could rely on them. Juanita would avoid that horrible commute and feel more relaxed and refreshed and she could park her car in the three car garage, which still left enough space to store things like extra linens or holiday decorations.
So after the workmen painted Juanita’s room, her family helped her move in, and once the workmen were completely done working on the house, I had a landscaper come in and work on improving the landscape---I decided on roses, very fragrant roses.
Then Irma and I went to Thomasville and I bought the selected pieces of furniture from the Bogart Lux Collection that I wanted. Dears the Bedroom piece with the curved headboard and matching end tables was a perfect match to my vanity table. I just knew I was on the right track. All so Art Deco to Art Modern, and then it was new bed linens, and everything else.
I’m still decorating the place, although I love the dinning room chairs I was not happy with the dinning room table, so I’m still looking for a table.
But Darlings I’m happy, comfortably ensconced in a home I adore, I sold the one that was too big for me but perfect for the family that bought it (just know that now it will be a happy home)---made a nice little bundle on the antique furniture that my late---but not very lamented husband had purchased.
And now I’m going to the Art Deco Show that will be offered in December---two days worth of looking and choosing, I don’t know what I’m going to find---but it will be fun looking for it.
Happy?? You can never be too old to be Happy and live your life and your dream, remember that Darlings.
Now I must dress, we are planning to go to Bix’s. Should be fun.
Kisses Darlings, until later, dream expensive dreams.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
One too many martinis and babbling~~~
Alright Possums, this Diva is feeling a little maudlin tonight, maybe one too many martinis.
Diva’s, sometimes one needs to do a bit of reflecting to see where life’s path has taken you, what was right or wrong with your decisions.
But you also have to be aware of the time frame and the perceptions of society of that time. When I was growing up, although my parents wanted me to think independently, make my own money and be financially independent, I was still growing up in an era where women were the dutiful house wives to make the home perfect for their husbands.
Such a conflict!! And such a pressure. Well after college, I was doing very well for myself in my investments making a very good income and I was very reluctant to share that with a husband, any husband.
But my Mother worried that I would be alone for the rest of my life and my Father had met a man who understood business especially from a legal standpoint and was moving up in the law firm that his own father had started. “A good catch” my Mother said, “Excellent Background and a good mind” my Father said----“Handsome” my friends said. But I thought “What is the problem?” then I realized and I talked it over with my Father----“Dad I don’t want to give over my money that I earn to him should we marry, what if there is something that doesn’t work out, I want to be independent just in case”
My Father was wise enough to see my point---he remembered his sister who committed suicide trapped in an abusive marriage and financially had no way out. So he talked to my erstwhile suitor and told him what the arrangements would be and this was before the age of “Pre-nuptial agreements”
So we married, during the honeymoon we came to even further verbal agreements, and I knew the marriage would be loveless and childless. Now a day’s people are quick to see a divorce but you have to remember Possums back then that would have been unseemly and I also knew that the connections that my new husband had would benefit my Father.
I didn’t like the house that he owned but he wasn’t going to sell it for my sake, he bought it for his own self importance.
So since he purchased the house and furnished it before we were married I had decided that there were battles worth fighting and those that weren’t. It’s a wise Diva that knows this.
Decorating the house that he bought was not worth fighting over, there was only one area that I held sway and that was my dressing room, personal sitting room and bath. It was an equitable arrangement. The only time we had an argument was over an Art Modern Vanity table that I bought, he thought it was decadent, I thought it was beautiful I told him that since it was going to be in my dressing room he didn’t have to see it.
Even he realized that there are times to retreat. And he needed me too. I am smart, witty, beautiful, knowledgeable, looked good on his arm, could raise money at charity functions, plan the perfect party, I was the perfect partner to his life.
He let me have my indulgences, my investment and own funds, my 1930’s movies and music, period clothing styles, some of my friends that had the same interests, performing in community theatre; as a matter of fact he made such theatre events a thing for staff and clients.
Oh please don’t misunderstand me, my husband was a good man, he just wanted things his way, and since I had the assistance of an excellent small staff to keep his house running it wasn’t too hard. It left me free to make my own personal investments (and investigations---most interesting story there).
All right I’ll come out with it, I knew that my husband had a mistress; I realized that after we had been married for nearly 20 years. Since he knew that we not commingle funds, there was a house fund, housekeeping and food fund, a bill paying fund and then his monies and mine, we put into the 4 initial funds and since he was the greater breadwinner he always put in more; if he insisted on a large party he would provide the extra money. If I wanted a little get together I paid for it.
He would buy me gifts, furs, jewelry etc. and had no problem with my clothing bill and we did have our medical and dental plan, he never denied me anything---and I knew why.
The Why was Miss 5 ft 5 inches; dark brunette hair, full lips, deep blue eyes, and a figure that was a knock out as they say, 25 years younger---and she kept him happy. But as I’ve always said it’s a wise Diva who knows where her husband stashes his extra money. And my investigations paid off.
One day I informed my husband that it would be a wise thing to do simple wills until we could think of how we wanted to set up a living trust. I pointed out that since I was in my late 40’s and he in his early 50’s it might be a wise move. We had no children (which would have been a blessing but that wasn’t to be) and except for my two siblings and his very elderly mother, we had no other close relatives and my siblings were well off anyway. I thought at first he would resist the idea, but then I could see the wheels in his mind clicking---hmmm wills, hmmm trust, hmmm mistress, hmmm wife.
I suggested that the wills be a temporary arrangement because he was doing a lot of traveling (by plane) until we had some free time to think it all over. Well it wasn’t until later that I found out that he thought that he would have enough time to later sign over some property, stocks and funds to his mistress while we were going to set up the trust and that he could do it secretly since he thought I didn’t know about his love nest arrangement.
But remember my Dear Future Diva’s Moi had been doing her investigations and knew where everything was buried, or comfortably ensconced.
(Am I being Catty---well-----Yes!)
So he thought that the wills would not be a problem until he could make his own private arrangements. (And how did I know that---why though his mistress’s Diary---I’ll explain that in a bit)
Now Darlings you have to understand I had no ulterior motive in mind, I just was aware that we had not made arrangements in case the unexpected happened. Of course my husband thought that he would never die, as a matter of fact he thought he would out live me since there was a background history of stroke and heart attacks in my father’s family, while his lived to very ripe old age, as a matter of fact his mother was still living in a very comfortable and expensive retirement community, the only reason why his father had died was an auto accident (coming home from His mistress’s place, like father like son they say) { Alright yes, Meeyooowl}
But even God has a very peculiar sense of humor, and the Devil takes his own. (Now remember Darlings he was in his own way a good husband, just a cold, sometimes difficult man to deal with and when I married him it was a different time and outlook)
Who would have thought that insuffient de-icing of the wings of a commercial jet airliner would bring our marriage to its final end? I remember kissing him before he flew off, and asked him to at least call to let me know what his return flight would be, then for the next week I went about my business, he would call briefly and up date me on events. Although once when he called I could clearly hear a female voice giggling faintly in the background. Oh well I thought, if he wanted to cheat on the both of us that was his choice, I’m the one with the marriage license.
What I didn’t known at the time is that he took his mistress with him, in a round about way after the plane crash I found out that he sent her by rail to New York for a shopping spree and she joined him a couple of days later, forwarding by UPS all her purchases, to the love nest, hmmm.
I do have to admit, when I found out that it was his flight that had crashed, I felt numb. I realized there wasn’t anything I could do until his remains were properly identified. But when I discovered her name on the boarding list, well then I knew as soon as possible I had to take action. His partners were dumbfounded that I knew where he kept everything and I took action through another legal firm to transfer all that which he had been planning to give to his now late mistress, into my name.
Do I sound cold? Sorry Darlings, but you have to remember I was not sure how I was going to do in my finances, I still had a house to pay off and staff to pay that were dependent upon me, as well as his outstanding bills. I didn’t love him really, but in my own way I was fond of him. And I respected his intelligence in legal and business matters, I learned from him really.
Getting information from his partners I told them that I knew about the mistress and through my investigative sources found out that she had parents and a younger sister and brother. The parents could afford to send the son to college but not the daughter, so Miss 5 ft 5 was sending extra money back to pay for her sisters’ college fund.
The parents could not afford to have the body shipped home but I told them a “little white lie” I said that Miss 5ft 5 was my husbands assistant and that the firm would make arrangements to transport her body home and pay for all the funeral arrangements---which through some arm-twisting they did (Remember Diva’s must be good with Arm Twisting) and though more arm-twisting had them pay out a sizeable amount to cover the money’s needed to pay the sisters’ way through college----we told the parents that it was part of the company insurance policy.
Alright why did I do that----she wasn’t a bad girl---in taking possession of the luxury apartment condo I discovered in a diary that she did care for my late husband, Hmmm I thought, from what I was reading he treated her like a pet that needed to be coddled and watched over---and she gave him complete devotion. Although she did have an ulterior motive, her sister’s college education. I couldn’t fault that---although I have to confess I did wish that he had given me at least half the affection that he gave her.
I destroyed the diary, made arrangements for her mother and sister to travel to her apartment to box and ship those personal items they wanted to keep. I told them to not worry about the lease on the apartment that my lawyer would make arrangements and that it would not be any financial outlay on their part. Again a little white lie, since I was the now legal owner, so why bother their heads about it.
My motive? Why darlings, even I could feel pity---I’m not heartless, I was angry but then in a way I realized that I had sold myself too many years before, but for other reasons---and I was the one with the marriage license. And I knew he would never leave me, things were too good. Remember Divas a married man will never give up his wife and if he does then can you trust him to be faithful? In her diary she constantly thought that he would leave me. Be careful Divas of lies to the heart, they are always false.
Even though this took place 12 years ago, things always remain the same.
I still get a card every Christmas from the sister----she is doing very well in her profession in, of all things, investment banking---hmmm.
His Mother, poor thing was very broken up, her only son, I knew that her care fell to me and I knew I had to do the right thing, she had been in my situation when she was married to my now late husband’s father. And she didn’t have the extra resources at her disposal that I had. She had to have her needs taken care of. Strangely enough we grew closer together, she shared many memories of her husband, her son, her life before them, her dreams she never realized, and she always wanted to be an artist, but her husband discouraged her in that, but I had seen her pencil sketches.
So one day I took her to an artist studio and had her discover water colors, eventually she had her own showing and her works sold very well. It gave her back some of the dreams that she had lost. She passed away in her sleep 5 years after, but feeling more fulfilled than before. Because I would have her over to the house I didn’t change a thing, I was concerned that it would upset her, after she passed away, I didn’t feel the need to have to change anything---why would I, I thought.
Until one day that long flight of stairs just became too much for me, I found myself with shortness of breath. Well a doctor’s examination and pills took care of most of that, but oh that long flight of stairs.
That is why Iris’s house is just so perfect, and I can be fully my own person as I want to be, maybe late in life but better late than never they say.
Oh my dear’s one should never drink more than 2 vodka martinis---all the memories come streaming back---and I have no idea why I blabbed all this to you, except maybe for all of you to learn from it. Always be careful and always remain independent.
Anon for now—this Diva is going to look for an aspirin.
Diva’s, sometimes one needs to do a bit of reflecting to see where life’s path has taken you, what was right or wrong with your decisions.
But you also have to be aware of the time frame and the perceptions of society of that time. When I was growing up, although my parents wanted me to think independently, make my own money and be financially independent, I was still growing up in an era where women were the dutiful house wives to make the home perfect for their husbands.
Such a conflict!! And such a pressure. Well after college, I was doing very well for myself in my investments making a very good income and I was very reluctant to share that with a husband, any husband.
But my Mother worried that I would be alone for the rest of my life and my Father had met a man who understood business especially from a legal standpoint and was moving up in the law firm that his own father had started. “A good catch” my Mother said, “Excellent Background and a good mind” my Father said----“Handsome” my friends said. But I thought “What is the problem?” then I realized and I talked it over with my Father----“Dad I don’t want to give over my money that I earn to him should we marry, what if there is something that doesn’t work out, I want to be independent just in case”
My Father was wise enough to see my point---he remembered his sister who committed suicide trapped in an abusive marriage and financially had no way out. So he talked to my erstwhile suitor and told him what the arrangements would be and this was before the age of “Pre-nuptial agreements”
So we married, during the honeymoon we came to even further verbal agreements, and I knew the marriage would be loveless and childless. Now a day’s people are quick to see a divorce but you have to remember Possums back then that would have been unseemly and I also knew that the connections that my new husband had would benefit my Father.
I didn’t like the house that he owned but he wasn’t going to sell it for my sake, he bought it for his own self importance.
So since he purchased the house and furnished it before we were married I had decided that there were battles worth fighting and those that weren’t. It’s a wise Diva that knows this.
Decorating the house that he bought was not worth fighting over, there was only one area that I held sway and that was my dressing room, personal sitting room and bath. It was an equitable arrangement. The only time we had an argument was over an Art Modern Vanity table that I bought, he thought it was decadent, I thought it was beautiful I told him that since it was going to be in my dressing room he didn’t have to see it.
Even he realized that there are times to retreat. And he needed me too. I am smart, witty, beautiful, knowledgeable, looked good on his arm, could raise money at charity functions, plan the perfect party, I was the perfect partner to his life.
He let me have my indulgences, my investment and own funds, my 1930’s movies and music, period clothing styles, some of my friends that had the same interests, performing in community theatre; as a matter of fact he made such theatre events a thing for staff and clients.
Oh please don’t misunderstand me, my husband was a good man, he just wanted things his way, and since I had the assistance of an excellent small staff to keep his house running it wasn’t too hard. It left me free to make my own personal investments (and investigations---most interesting story there).
All right I’ll come out with it, I knew that my husband had a mistress; I realized that after we had been married for nearly 20 years. Since he knew that we not commingle funds, there was a house fund, housekeeping and food fund, a bill paying fund and then his monies and mine, we put into the 4 initial funds and since he was the greater breadwinner he always put in more; if he insisted on a large party he would provide the extra money. If I wanted a little get together I paid for it.
He would buy me gifts, furs, jewelry etc. and had no problem with my clothing bill and we did have our medical and dental plan, he never denied me anything---and I knew why.
The Why was Miss 5 ft 5 inches; dark brunette hair, full lips, deep blue eyes, and a figure that was a knock out as they say, 25 years younger---and she kept him happy. But as I’ve always said it’s a wise Diva who knows where her husband stashes his extra money. And my investigations paid off.
One day I informed my husband that it would be a wise thing to do simple wills until we could think of how we wanted to set up a living trust. I pointed out that since I was in my late 40’s and he in his early 50’s it might be a wise move. We had no children (which would have been a blessing but that wasn’t to be) and except for my two siblings and his very elderly mother, we had no other close relatives and my siblings were well off anyway. I thought at first he would resist the idea, but then I could see the wheels in his mind clicking---hmmm wills, hmmm trust, hmmm mistress, hmmm wife.
I suggested that the wills be a temporary arrangement because he was doing a lot of traveling (by plane) until we had some free time to think it all over. Well it wasn’t until later that I found out that he thought that he would have enough time to later sign over some property, stocks and funds to his mistress while we were going to set up the trust and that he could do it secretly since he thought I didn’t know about his love nest arrangement.
But remember my Dear Future Diva’s Moi had been doing her investigations and knew where everything was buried, or comfortably ensconced.
(Am I being Catty---well-----Yes!)
So he thought that the wills would not be a problem until he could make his own private arrangements. (And how did I know that---why though his mistress’s Diary---I’ll explain that in a bit)
Now Darlings you have to understand I had no ulterior motive in mind, I just was aware that we had not made arrangements in case the unexpected happened. Of course my husband thought that he would never die, as a matter of fact he thought he would out live me since there was a background history of stroke and heart attacks in my father’s family, while his lived to very ripe old age, as a matter of fact his mother was still living in a very comfortable and expensive retirement community, the only reason why his father had died was an auto accident (coming home from His mistress’s place, like father like son they say) { Alright yes, Meeyooowl}
But even God has a very peculiar sense of humor, and the Devil takes his own. (Now remember Darlings he was in his own way a good husband, just a cold, sometimes difficult man to deal with and when I married him it was a different time and outlook)
Who would have thought that insuffient de-icing of the wings of a commercial jet airliner would bring our marriage to its final end? I remember kissing him before he flew off, and asked him to at least call to let me know what his return flight would be, then for the next week I went about my business, he would call briefly and up date me on events. Although once when he called I could clearly hear a female voice giggling faintly in the background. Oh well I thought, if he wanted to cheat on the both of us that was his choice, I’m the one with the marriage license.
What I didn’t known at the time is that he took his mistress with him, in a round about way after the plane crash I found out that he sent her by rail to New York for a shopping spree and she joined him a couple of days later, forwarding by UPS all her purchases, to the love nest, hmmm.
I do have to admit, when I found out that it was his flight that had crashed, I felt numb. I realized there wasn’t anything I could do until his remains were properly identified. But when I discovered her name on the boarding list, well then I knew as soon as possible I had to take action. His partners were dumbfounded that I knew where he kept everything and I took action through another legal firm to transfer all that which he had been planning to give to his now late mistress, into my name.
Do I sound cold? Sorry Darlings, but you have to remember I was not sure how I was going to do in my finances, I still had a house to pay off and staff to pay that were dependent upon me, as well as his outstanding bills. I didn’t love him really, but in my own way I was fond of him. And I respected his intelligence in legal and business matters, I learned from him really.
Getting information from his partners I told them that I knew about the mistress and through my investigative sources found out that she had parents and a younger sister and brother. The parents could afford to send the son to college but not the daughter, so Miss 5 ft 5 was sending extra money back to pay for her sisters’ college fund.
The parents could not afford to have the body shipped home but I told them a “little white lie” I said that Miss 5ft 5 was my husbands assistant and that the firm would make arrangements to transport her body home and pay for all the funeral arrangements---which through some arm-twisting they did (Remember Diva’s must be good with Arm Twisting) and though more arm-twisting had them pay out a sizeable amount to cover the money’s needed to pay the sisters’ way through college----we told the parents that it was part of the company insurance policy.
Alright why did I do that----she wasn’t a bad girl---in taking possession of the luxury apartment condo I discovered in a diary that she did care for my late husband, Hmmm I thought, from what I was reading he treated her like a pet that needed to be coddled and watched over---and she gave him complete devotion. Although she did have an ulterior motive, her sister’s college education. I couldn’t fault that---although I have to confess I did wish that he had given me at least half the affection that he gave her.
I destroyed the diary, made arrangements for her mother and sister to travel to her apartment to box and ship those personal items they wanted to keep. I told them to not worry about the lease on the apartment that my lawyer would make arrangements and that it would not be any financial outlay on their part. Again a little white lie, since I was the now legal owner, so why bother their heads about it.
My motive? Why darlings, even I could feel pity---I’m not heartless, I was angry but then in a way I realized that I had sold myself too many years before, but for other reasons---and I was the one with the marriage license. And I knew he would never leave me, things were too good. Remember Divas a married man will never give up his wife and if he does then can you trust him to be faithful? In her diary she constantly thought that he would leave me. Be careful Divas of lies to the heart, they are always false.
Even though this took place 12 years ago, things always remain the same.
I still get a card every Christmas from the sister----she is doing very well in her profession in, of all things, investment banking---hmmm.
His Mother, poor thing was very broken up, her only son, I knew that her care fell to me and I knew I had to do the right thing, she had been in my situation when she was married to my now late husband’s father. And she didn’t have the extra resources at her disposal that I had. She had to have her needs taken care of. Strangely enough we grew closer together, she shared many memories of her husband, her son, her life before them, her dreams she never realized, and she always wanted to be an artist, but her husband discouraged her in that, but I had seen her pencil sketches.
So one day I took her to an artist studio and had her discover water colors, eventually she had her own showing and her works sold very well. It gave her back some of the dreams that she had lost. She passed away in her sleep 5 years after, but feeling more fulfilled than before. Because I would have her over to the house I didn’t change a thing, I was concerned that it would upset her, after she passed away, I didn’t feel the need to have to change anything---why would I, I thought.
Until one day that long flight of stairs just became too much for me, I found myself with shortness of breath. Well a doctor’s examination and pills took care of most of that, but oh that long flight of stairs.
That is why Iris’s house is just so perfect, and I can be fully my own person as I want to be, maybe late in life but better late than never they say.
Oh my dear’s one should never drink more than 2 vodka martinis---all the memories come streaming back---and I have no idea why I blabbed all this to you, except maybe for all of you to learn from it. Always be careful and always remain independent.
Anon for now—this Diva is going to look for an aspirin.
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