Well Darlings,
Irma, Betty and I have gathered our information together and made lists, we’ve even gone on the internet to see what the best spots are. But from what we’ve discovered so far is that many coffee shop places appear to be for internet users, nothing relaxing and elegant, with good coffee and a little nosh.
We’ve even wondered if our focus is wrong.
But then Irma suggested that we simply put together first from our experiences, places we like first give it a review and what we think is best for it, like lunch, dinner, atmosphere, comfort, cost, what it’s close to, and how hard to get in, dress code (casual, tie, formal etc)
We’ll also keep in our purses a note book of each new place we find and write down our opinion of it, if possible get its business card.
So we’ve agreed to get together once a month and compare our excursions. This will be so much fun, and we’ve enlisted the husbands and Kevin and Kenneth and several other persons that we know, we may even expand on it to cover other subjects.
My friend Mean Kitty has suggested for very casual eating, the Country Way Inn on Mowrey Avenue in Fremont, retro early 70’s with comfort food, good prices and large portions. The waitress’s call you dear, or honey and is very friendly without out being snobbish, just down home as she calls it. I had to laugh because she always has a way of taking things down a peg or two.
She said to me, “Men Folk don’t want ‘elf food’ and micro bionic food, they want MEAT and plenty of it, they want to remember Mom’s or Grandma’s old fashioned
Cooking and ‘if you don’t eat it there’s children starving in India who’d love it’ type reminders and this place has it”
She also told me about Mel’s Drive-in Dinners (which are not drive in, just eateries) “Real good hamburgers, filling, good fries, and the one on Geary and Van Ness in San Francisco is good, but get there just before the crowd, I had the Tuna Melt, with a little potato salad and it was a good size sandwich, I couldn’t finish the potato salad and that was just a small amount, guess my stomach is shrinking.”
What I love about Mean Kitty is she keeps things “Real” when I tell her how much I paid for my luggage she broke it down to “Gee, I could get new gutters for the house and maybe a drive way patch job”
Mean Kitty and I had dinner last night at my “secret dinning place” which we’ve promised not to divulge, and I looked at her very closely----I know she is going to read this “blog” but I say these things with real love for her.
I want to make it clear I do admire her, I’ve come from a “privileged life” wealthy parents, made my money, married well if not for love, have a marvelous income, never had to really hold down a job, excellent college education, as well as being lucky to have a natural investment and business acumen. I’m slim, trim, in excellent health, have money, furs, jewels, a housekeeper, expensive car, and can hire anyone at any time when I want without worrying about funds.
Oh yes, I’ve had my disappointments, sadness, loss, but I’ve also had many joys and I never have to look over my shoulder or worry about how I’m going to be taken care of.
But I look at Mean Kitty, she came from a upper working blue collar class family, college did not come easy for her and the money ran out when her father became ill, by the time she was 22 everything she knew and loved was gone, because of so many changes she clung on to her mother and father, cared for them, lived with them and never got a chance to live her own life.
She’s worked from the time she was 18 till now and even before she worked, cleaning her parents and grandmother’s home, washed dishes, sewed and repaired her own clothes, got up on the roof and cleaned gutters, or replaced roofs as she said “I got so many splinters in my hands one time that I had to spend the evening with my Mom pulling them out before I could eat, it hurt so bad.”
If she had to have sometime done she had to save the money up or get a loan to pay it off, her cash flow has always been difficult, and “there were times when I felt among my own peers that I was always 5 years behind them in experience or just plain naïve”.
Until now she had always been unlucky in love “Just chose the wrong ones until my Man came along” and she chose for love not money. For her to go into a 4 or 5 star restaurant would as she’d put it “freak me out, because I know I just don’t belong there, like they know I shop at Mervyns’s not Saks 5th Avenue.”
And yet we’ve met, we share things and she helps keep me grounded, she knows a lot of things, and her information is so useful. But when I offer to help---well she has her pride “I don’t want to be beholden to anyone, a loan can break up a beautiful friendship, somehow I’ll manage”
She plans on working until she drops, for her it’s the only way she can pay the bills, and afford medical coverage, she never had enough for retirement or investment, she prays that she will never be laid up with a stroke or anything like that “I saw what it did to Mom, she just gave up, became bed ridden I had to use up all the money she saved, hire a caregiver to cover while I was at work, had visiting nurses, deal with Medi-cal and Medicare, use up all my savings. I refuse to give up---Dad had a stroke and he came back, but he could never work again, but he kept going until his heart attack----I’d like it to be that way, to be able to function and then just fall asleep and not wake up, no burden to anyone”
I look at the beautiful home I have, the beautiful things I have, blessed with good health and she says about her home “well the ceiling is peeling but at least the roof is sound and no leaks, but I can’t afford to paint the interior for some time or patch the cracks, I just hope the heater holds out until I can replace it and forget refinishing the wood floors, not a high priority right now.”
I am still a size 8 and have all my teeth but for her “ The stress of caring for Mom and then when My Man came down with congestive heart failure and dealing with Medi-cal and Social Security constantly denying his rightful benefits and then me hiring a lawyer and taking on a second job to pay for the bills has caused bone density loss especially in my jaw, so my teeth loosen up and become infected then they have to be removed, I hate eating with dentures, I don’t care what they say I’ve had to give up a lot of my favorite foods and I loss 2 inches in height”
As she puts it “Getting Old is NOT for Sissies”.
And yet I admire her, her command of the English language, how she can phrase things, be diplomatic, and yet honest, hard working even with her aches and pains. Her enjoyment of the simple things in life and yet even she is a “class Act” she knows what is proper and right, she can be elegant in her own way, and I’ve seen her in action, when we’ve gone shopping together, we were at Tiffany’s the other day (I was looking for a gift for my niece who has turned 13) she was looking at all the beautiful jewelry a staffer asked her if she needed assistance, instead of being flustered (as one would if they know they are in a place that they don’t feel they belong) she simply remarked “No Thank you, I’m just browsing and admiring, but ‘thank you’ for asking, one quick question are these “fancy diamonds?” I’ve seen pink sapphires, but I didn’t know diamonds are also pink---thank you, most informative”.
I did make my purchase and we went into the Westin St. Francis to see what we could find, I had the chance to ask her over coffee “Where did you learn to speak that way?” and she replied “I use to watch the old movies from the 30’s and 40’s (another reason why I love her) and I’d listen to how they talk. The “Thin Man Movies” are wonderful for style, and “The Women” , I just love the T.V. show “Mission Impossible” I always thought Barbara Bain was so elegant, she’d always play her character just so cool and classy, also I’d watch all the PBS mysteries like Agatha Christie, Sherlock Holmes, and the Dorothy Sayers “Lord Peter Whimsey” mysteries, some of the verbiage is fluff, so I don’t use it, but it taught me the best way to phrase things, I also paid attention in my high school English classes, it just pains my ears (and mine too) when I hear the teenagers using words like ‘that’s hecka cool’ instead of saying that’s really nice, or using profanity, there are millions of words in the English language that one doesn’t have to resort to profanity”
I had to agree with her, we both came to conclusion that the young people didn’t have the right role models in front of them, they were too caught up with Brittany Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, the slut gangster persona and feel that, that is whom they must emulate. No Jackie Kennedy, no Audrey Hepburn, No Marlene Dietchrine, No Barbara Bain, no one to be in the forefront to show the way of how to be cool, elegant, classy and with style.
She said to me, “the other day I was watching ‘Judge Joe Brown’ and having a late lunch and he had on these 5 African American girls, one girl (who had a witness) was suing the other 3 for attacking her and these girls were big, I think collectively they could life up a bus.
She was beaten up real bad by these 3 girls, had to go to the ER, do a police report and such, and the 3 girls had an attitude like they were proud of what they did and brought in a video of the attack, and they just stood there posturing and rolling their eyes, while the plaintiff was explaining her case and her witness was verifying everything, now when the 3 defendants started talking, the plaintiff and her witness didn’t do any of that, they just stood there and quietly shook their heads at the lies and attitude of the 3 defendants.
Judge Joe Brown read the riot act to those three girls, told them what they really were and found for the plaintiff. And I have to admit, I could not believe those 3 girls even before I saw the video, their attitude put me off, made me believe that they were the aggressors and when I saw the video what I really saw was the plaintiff defending herself, I did not see her starting the attack. So the 3 defendants were in the wrong and yet they refuse to believe it.
And that is what this world is coming to.”
I could only agree with Mean Kitty, it is a sorry state of affairs, and we’ve lost what culture we had and it’s come down to all that.
But last night at dinner, in part I felt my faith somewhat restored when she said “If you always act like a class act, everyone will have to act that way too eventually, maybe indirectly it can influence some young person, give them the subconscious nudge in the right direction, what people don’t understand is that they themselves create the ghetto instead of improving it. Remember that movie ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’ it’s based on a true story and that guy is making a lot of money now a days, but he’s helping others, as they say ‘You’ve got to have that fire in your belly’ if you want to improve yourself, it’s just that too many young people are afraid to leave that which they are familiar with, but all it takes is one step and then another and another and keep going, and then you are free of the ghetto, but I think a personality needs to be in the forefront and is a strong influence to make change for the better. It will happen, it will happen slowly, but it will happen.”
And that is when I realized that even I have to be an example Darlings and give you this next lesson----remember it-----
DIVADOM IS NOT BEING RICH OR WEALTHY BUT BEING CLASSY EVEN WITH LITTLE MONEY, TO SPEAK RIGHT, ACT RIGHT, DRESS RIGHT WITHOUT TRASH OR BEING TRASHY.
It’s knowing what is right and what is wrong, it’s being responsible and helpful, it’s being considerate of others and yet, knowing what is legal and right. The world is not handed to one on a platter, it must be earned and also earning the respect of others.
You can be a Diva even if you can only afford to buy at Goodwill, Salvation Army or St. Vincent De Paul. The key to Divadom is EDUCATION.
If any of you Diva Darlings are putting together your notebook based on my “blogs”, then put what I have just written as your prolog and always remember it.
Now Darlings, I must go and do my beauty routine and get my Beauty Sleep, Juanita will be back tomorrow and I need to get myself on track for the New Year.
Until Anon Darlings, Kisses.
